“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” -Matthew 7:7
I love this line from the Bible. I’m not an avid Bible reader or religious in the common sense of the word but I am deeply spiritual. I believe in a higher-power and I believe I’m here to do “my work” to the best of my ability. I just don’t subscribe to one specific set of directions or go to one specific church (unless like me, you call nature ‘church’).
I prefer to use the lessons from my life and the inspirations that come my way to navigate by, whether that be from the actual Bible or the bum on the street. Okay, in the quaint little town that I live in I don’t run across bums too often, but you get my gist: I am not a go-to-church on Sunday kind of girl but I am a sincere student of my experience and I do my best to live by the lessons I learn from the Book of Life.
But as I said, even for non-religious me, there are times when the credos that I choose to live by come directly from The Good Book. In fact, “Ask and ye shall receive” is a big important chapter in my Book of Life. I bow down in reverence to that Truth. I’ve gotten confirmation of it throughout my life.
Sure, there are times where I don’t really know what’s going on and feel like things are randomly happening to me but at other times, I have the deeper insight to know that I am simply receiving the order I placed with God/The Universe/The Fairy Godmother, whatever you prefer to call that mysterious force that keeps life in motion and miracles happening. And today I am here, writing this blog to whoever out there is reading it (or cares, teehee), to report that never in my life have I received more confirmation of that truth than in the last month.
Let me give you a little background story just in case you didn’t read my previous 2,000 word post (well, not quite but it seems like it!). What can I say? I’m a beginning blogger and I like to talk story. I promise to try to be more succinct this time.
So here goes my scoop on asking and receiving: Last month I was asking to find a clear direction and purpose in my life, which is actually something I’ve been asking for as long as I can remember so it’s about time that order was filled! I was about to finish up a 2-month volunteering gig at a raw food culinary arts school after having traveled all over the world on a kind of sabbatical/purpose-quest for the last year and head back home and I just really really wanted to find my purpose and settle in to something once I got there. So I decided to write a blog.
It’s something that had been on my mind for awhile, on that Things-To-Do-Someday mental list, so I figured I might as well check that one off. Besides, I’d recently watched “Julie and Julia” and that’s what Julie did when she was 30 and freaking out that she didn’t know what to do with her life and it worked out for her … I guess. She got a movie deal out of it and hopefully she’s still happy cooking that much.
“When you make the decision to become a being of sharing,
and practice keeping your thoughts harmonized
with Spirit energy on a daily basis,
your purpose will not only find you,
it will chase after you wherever you go.”
-Wayne Dyer
For as long as I can remember I’ve had an obsession with finding my purpose. And I don’t mean that in the standard, need-to-find-something-to-do kind of way. I’m just as good as the next gal at finding things that interest me (too many usually!) and keeping busy with work and relationships and all the other million things that fill our lives and keep us looking driven and on-course. What I mean is finding purpose in the deepest sense, as in the “why am I here?” sense; in the I-want-to-jump-out-of-bed-in-the-morning-to-do-this-thing-because-I-know-it’s-my-mission-on-Earth sense. Honestly, I’ve found many things I enjoy doing in this life, but I have yet to find that mind-captivating, body-moving, soul-stirring, Purpose.
I started looking for it from an early age, encouraged by my Grandpa Joe who wrote to me in a card:
“Remember Darlin’, the thing is to keep your thoughts balanced and clear and learn to imagine your world as you want it to be. The universe will follow your directions and bring you a life of joy and happiness.”
I took those words to heart and set about placing my order! I’ve filled in countless journals with big ideas and detailed plans on various “callings.” I’ve plastered bedroom walls with “vision collages,” creating a kind of self-advertisement for my latest goals and dreams. I’ve written (and signed) “sacred contracts” with myself, vowing to follow through on X and Y to get to Z. I’ve even had a life credo, or mission statement if you will, tattooed on my arm as a constant (and yes mom, permanent) affirmation of intent: Love, presence, gratitude.
So, you get the idea: I’m highly-motivated to find my purpose. But let me be clear: As much as it may seem like it, looking for my purpose is not my purpose. Contrary to self-help-bashers and jaded people who claim people like me are unfulfilled because they think about living more than they live, I am diligent in my search because I believe finding purpose is imperative to living a happy life. And isn’t that really our ultimate purpose? At the end of the day don’t we all just want to be happy? I know that may sound oversimplified or trite to some people but I don’t think so (and just for the record, neither does the Dalai Lama). I think that if you boil down all of the complexity of the human experience you either get happy or sad. I want happy. And I’ll bet you do too!
I also think that as we navigate the road of life, our emotions are signposts of whether we are on our own “right track,” or not.
Happy = “You’re on the best road to reach your destination, keep going.”
Sad = “You’ve gone off on a detour, backtrack and try again.”
Or in the words of Jenny, “Don’t try to be brave, just run away … run, Forrest, run!“
Okay, maybe the troubled Jenny is not the most credible source to use for life advice but there is wisdom to glean from her character and she surely knew how to turn back from Sad St. (abusive men, stripping, drugs) to Happy Rd. (Forrest). Forrest Gump is also one of my favorite movies of all time so I will inevitably quote it from time to time. You know the box of chocolates is bound to come up.
Speaking of chocolates and roads of life, let me take you on a stroll down my memory lane.
In my search for that hard-to-find, Purpose Place, I’ve taken all kinds of roads: The well-traveled, the off-the-beaten track, the spiritual path, and the “where the hell am I now?!” kinds.
In my early twenties the road was clear. Enrolled in college and getting straight A’s, I could be assured I was on the right track. I was even awarded a prize of $10k for graduating at the top of my class with a perfect 4.0 GPA. That made me happy, until I used up the prize money and realized that my highest honors diploma guaranteed nothing in the big wide world outside of academia.
After that shocker, while I aimlessly backpacked through Europe with no idea what to do with my new degree, you would have thought I was looking for it in a chocolaterie. Those melt-on-your-tongue Belgian truffles definitely made me happy, at least until the sugar-high wore off and that fickle happiness came crashing down.
Then there was the road (and a man) that took me to the remote Alaskan bush where I was convinced that getting back to basics–chop wood, carry water (literally!)–with a good man by my side was what I was meant to do. That made me happy too, until the dark days of Winter came and the relationship also went cold.
Yet another road took me to a high-desert spiritual community where I fasted and meditated and found a different kind of happiness than I’d ever known: Inner peace, or at least glimpses of it. I was happy there, until boredom set in (or the “stuff” I was not ready to deal with came up) and I was compelled to hit the road.
In more recent history, I hit a big landmark, the big 3-0 and the “real adult” status sent me running in all kinds of directions. I quit my job (needless to say, it was not my true purpose) and returned to my childhood home in Brazil to reconnect with family (and myself), took a stint as an office lady at a work camp in Alaska, made a pilgrimage back to Hawaii, fabled place where my parents met and created me, and am currently closing out the year volunteering at a raw foods culinary arts school.
My search for purpose has been ardent. I was convinced that I needed to catch up, to finally make up my mind on what I wanted to be when I grew up (now?!) because real adults all know their purpose in life, right? Wrong. This year (older and wiser has it’s perks!) I have come to a different understanding about finding my purpose.
As much as I still want to get to my destination, I know that being fully present on the journey and maintaining my vehicle as I travel (many more details on this in future posts) is what will ultimately get me there. And contrary to what I once thought, to get there I don’t have to make it happen all on my own, at least not directly.
I just need to choose my route, plan for favorable driving conditions, watch the road and trust that if I do these things I will, in due time, arrive at my destination.
And of course, sharing the journey with you, fellow sojourner, makes the road smoother and so much more fun. So thank you for allowing me to “become a being of sharing” by reading my very first post!
To sum up these musings on looking for my purpose, I haven’t always stayed on Happy Rd. I’ve taken many detours, even stopped at some “mean-spirited roadhouses” as the great mystic poet, Rumi, describes them. But I don’t regret any of them. How could I? Although it has been a circuitous route, it has brought me to exactly where I am now, which the equally great mystic poet, Hafiz, assures me “God circled on a map” for me.
And although I have not yet arrived at Purpose Place, I have a feeling I’m on Happy Rd now. In fact, I feel like I may just turn around and see that pesky bugger chasing me down the road anytime. And when he does I’m going to turn around and run straight toward him. In the meantime, I’ll just steer the course, maintain my vehicle, and share the road.
So let me share with you my new set of directions to get to Purpose Place:
Stay on Happy Rd.
Avoid detouring off to Sad St.
Navigate by your emotions.
If you are on Happy Rd you will feel clear and energetic.
If you are on Sad St you will feel confused and frustrated.
If this happens to you, don’t drive around in circles and resign yourself to being lost.
Reevaluate where you are and take the nearest turnabout back to Happy St.
Stop when you need to fuel up and/or maintain your vehicle.
Avoid the mean-spirited roadhouses.
Share the road with your fellow travelers.
They can make the trip a whole lot more fun and they are often the ones who can guide you back to Happy Rd when you get sidetracked on Sad St.
Silence the “are we there yet?” voices in your head
(or any other pestering passengers you share this trip with).
It’s time to (really) grow up and enjoy the ride!
In a few days I’ll be hitting the road again. After a year of traveling around the world and the last two months fueling up on delicious and nutritious raw foods at the Living Light Culinary Arts Institute, I’m heading back to Patagonia, Arizona, home to friends and family and Gabriel Cousens’ Tree of Life Rejuvenation Center. It’s time for a tune-up …
Last but not least, an addendum to the above directions:
